2018年5月5日SAT亚洲卷作文【全文解析+范文写作】首度全曝光


来源:   时间:2018-05-08 10:01:14

既考前给同学们送了
SAT写作实战武器,
考完后,沈祎老师又会给大家带来
怎样的真题解(tu)析(cao)呢? 
 
好吧,我收回上周六(5月5日)分析本次SAT亚洲考卷作文部分时候的评价“这次考试浅显易懂”。

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截图原文:【首发】沃邦名师5月5日亚太SAT考试考情速递
 
不少冲刺班在我这里读的小伙伴都说,这次题目好难,没有一个数字,没有引用,没有专家,没有权威机构……以前教的“写三段”或者更有甚者有的机构老师要求用模板套用,根!本!用!不!上!!
 
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(来自广大考生的内心哭嚎~) 
 
为什么?一个阿拉伯数字都没有!怎么套那一段“预制”的The author employs abundant statistics. As statistics won’t lie ……they add credibility. 
 
此外,文章既没有猛烈抨击的情绪,更没有“爱国主义”歌功颂德,所以,“写三段”最后那一段 “The author also uses emotions to persuade the readers as emotions can, without doubt, touches the most delicate heart of the readers. 根!本!用!不!上!!
 
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更要命的是,这篇文章的reasoning部分并没有明显的信号词,没有出现benefit 等(哦,等等,有的,在倒数第二段,明显不够凑成一段啊 :-P)
 
咳咳咳……沈老师敲黑板了,说正经话了,同学们记笔记:

很明显,这一段时间 CB选用的文章已经放弃了原来“浅显易懂”的分析要素—引用权威、数据以及明显的对比,过去三次考试,CB选择的文章倚重reasoning,所以多件的是cause-effect,root cause, clarify misconception等,这些需要同学们在老师的辅导下,多读多练,才能培养敏感度。
 
最后再强调一句:让所有写作模板”、好词好句都见鬼去吧~ ~
 
 下面奉上沈祎老师亲自操刀的作文范文——

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附:2018年5月5日SAT写作部分全文解析
 
本文选自2014年的 New York Times,歌颂的是当下的“分享经济”,鼓励更多的 pharmaceutical companies 分享临床试验数据,互通有无,分享相关地试验数据,提高研发新药的速度,减少药物的副作用,为社会做出更多的贡献。 
 
这篇文章的 evidence 部分主要运用的是 medical evidence 和典型案例分析(case study),并且用业内的 leader 做 role model,增强 persuasiveness。
 
Reasoning 的部分来说,主要的是 contrast 和 cause-effect analysis,此外还有 pre-emptive counterargument; emotional appeals 主要集中在文章的最后,用 sense of duty / responsibility / Samaritan spirit(好人精神)来 uplift social morale.
 
Give the Data to the People
 
1、LAST week, Johnson & Johnson announced that it was making all of its clinical trial data available to scientists around the world. It has hired my group,Yale University Open Data Access Project, or YODA, to fully oversee the release of the data. Everything in the company’s clinical research vaults, including unpublished raw data, will be available for independent review.
 
作者用 Johnson &Johnson 最近的 announcement 用以 introduce the article.很显然,这个决定非常的突然而且让人感觉惊讶和 heart-warming。
 
 
2、This is an extraordinary donation to society, and a reversal of the industry’s traditional tendency to treat data as an asset that would lose value if exposed to public scrutiny.
 
作者发表了对J& J决定的看法,作者用了 extraordinary donation 这样的 word choice 来积极评价这个决定,这个决定无疑是对社会做出了巨大贡献。
 
 
3、Today, more than half of the clinical trials in the United States, including many sponsored by academic and governmental institutions, are not published within two years of their completion. Often they are never published at all. The unreported results, not surprisingly, are often those in which a drug failed to perform better than a placebo. As aresult, evidence-based medicine is, at best, based on only some of the evidence. One of the most troubling implications is that full information on a drug’s effects may never be discovered or released.
 
作者告诉了我们这个决定的社会背景,即半数以上的美国医药公司视临床试验数据为行业机密;同时,作者告诉我们,这种现象给社会带来的危害:the most troubling implication is that full information on a drug’s effects may never be discovered or released.相比之下,J & J 公司的决定就显得很伟大。
 
4、Even when studies are published, the actual data are usually not made available. Endusers of research — patients, doctors and policy makers — are implicitly told by a single group of researchers to “take our word for it.” They are often forced to accept the report without the prospect of other independent scientists’ reproducing the findings — a violation of a central tenet of the scientific method.
 
作者继续发表对普遍的行业做法,这里作者运用了逻辑分析,说的是这样的做法给 medical practitioner 带来的困扰。
 
5、To be fair, the decision to share data is not easy. Companies worry that their competitors will benefit, that lawyers will take advantage, that incompetent scientists will misconstrue the data and come to mistaken conclusions.Researchers feel ownership of the data and may be reluctant to have others useit. So Johnson & Johnson, as well as companies like GlaxoSmithKline and Medtronic that have made more cautious moves toward transparency, deserve much credit. The more we share data, however, the more we find that many of these problems fail to materialize.
 
作者继续表扬J&J的决定,说公司的决定不容易,同时作者在分析为何公司不愿意分享这些数据的原因,主要原因是 competition 和 legal entanglement,作者反驳说,其实更多的公司,包括 GSK 和 Medtronic,加入公开临床数据的分享,这些担心的原因就越不会发生。
 
6、In 2011, YODA struck a deal with Medtronic to release all the data on one of its products — a device that stimulates the production of bone. At the time,questions had been raised about the device’s safety, including whether it caused cancer, and about the conflicts of interests of some of the company’s researchers. Medtronic made the unusual decision to respond to the debate by releasing the device’s data for independent review. We commissioned and then published two independent reviews of the data, and now have made them globally available.

为了 buttress claim,作者举了个例子(a case in point),2011年YODA 与 Medtronic 的合作,这一段主要围绕前段中提到的“为何公司担心分享临床试验数据”展开。
 
7、Interestingly, the reviews produced somewhat conflicting results. One found that the device was no better than a bone graft and might be associated with a slight increase in cancer, while the other found that the device was effective and the cancer risk inconclusive. To us these differences reinforce the value of open science: now the data are out there for further study.
 
作者继续在对这个案例进行详细分析;合作过程中发生的一些 conflicting results 等正好呼应了作者一开始担心的 the most troubling implication,同时验证了分享临床数据的好处。 
 
8、This program doesn’t mean that just anyone can gain access to the data without disclosing how they intend to use it. We require those who want the data to submit a proposal and identify their research team, funding and any conflicts of interest. They have to complete a short course on responsible conduct and sign an agreement that restricts them to their proposed research question. Most important, they must agree to share whatever they find. And we exclude applicants who seek data for commercial or legal purposes. Our intent is not tobe tough gatekeepers, but to ensure that the data are used in a transparent way and contribute to overall scientific knowledge.

这里一段可以说是 pre-empt 了读者的 potential concern,即分享临床数据并不代表这些数据可以被滥用,这样说的目的是打消 target audience 的顾虑,这样更多的医药公司能够加入分享临床数据的潮流中来。 这里大量地呼吁 audience,再次重申了 project 地社会贡献。
 
9、There are many benefits to this kind of sharing. It honors the contributions of the subjects and scientists who participated in the research. It is proof that an organization, whether it is part of industry or academia, wants to play a role as a good global citizen. It demonstrates that the organization has nothing to hide. And it enables scientists to use the data to learn new ways to help patients. Such an approach can even teach a company like Johnson & Johnson something it didn’t know about its own products.
 
这一段作者饱醮感情地歌颂了分享精神,希望更多地医药企业能够加入分享队伍,主要是通过 appeals to their duty。
 
10、For the good of society, this is a breakthrough that should be replicated throughout the research world.
 
最后一段, 作者呼吁更多企业能够加入分享地队伍,为社会做出贡献。
 
 
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沈祎老师
擅长教授新SAT阅读、写作
20年一线英语培训,几乎零投诉。先后从事四六级英语(翻译、阅读)、雅思(听力、阅读、写作)、新概念英语(第三、第四册)、商务英语(BEC中高级)、中高级口译(听力、口译、阅读)、托福(听力、阅读)及托雅(听力),SAT(美国高考)阅读及写作教学,教学经验丰富。


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